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If I just…

May 14, 2007
  • If I just had my nose done
  • If I just lost weight
  • If I just got my teeth fixed
  • If I just looked better
  • If I just had a nicer car
  • If I just could regrow my hair

 Then what?  As an observation of the human condition, I routinely hear so many rationalizations from others about what they think is holding them back.  I confess to this behavior as well, so I feel entitled to post about it.  

Humans inherently, seem unsatisfied with their current condition, no matter what it is. 

Probably, you’ve already achieved everything you said you wanted ten years ago, but now there are new elusive goals in front of you, for which you rationalize why you have yet not achieved. 

Often it is the very rationalization of impediments that keep us from our goals.   People imagine themselves unattractive or disadvantaged based on their self image and insecurities.   It appears to me that these rationalizations occur when the path to success is unknown, and we create a likely reason for ourselves.  

In some cases, we work on addressing the barrier directly, and in other cases, we try to compensate for it.   For many years, my sense of self worth has been tied to my ability to fix things.  I didn’t feel attractive or worthy of attention unless I could improve someone else’s situation.  That was my principle esteem crutch.   

To be sure, there are real challenges to be overcome that separate us from our success and we should work to overcome them.  We should also challenge the validity of many of the barriers that we create for ourselves when we say, “If I could just…”

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. sweetlybroken permalink
    May 14, 2007 1:38 pm

    …..love myself enough to love myself the way I am. Great blog, great insight.

  2. May 14, 2007 3:04 pm

    Nice post Mark.

    “If I could just sing like Chris Cornell” is the only such statement I keep…

    As I grow older, I find I face less insecurities than before, which I think is only natural. The interesting thing is that as I become aware of my own limitations I grow more self-confident.

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