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A chapter closed

October 31, 2006

Leslie and I finished the final clean up and detailing of my apartment late last night.    The carpet cleaners worked miracles, erasing all evidence of my bulimic kitty, and we were able to round up the last of the odds and ends from under bath cabinets, top shelves, and residual trash.  Amazingly, this filled the back of my truck yet again.   After everything was out, and we vacuumed our way to the door to erase our foot impressions on the freshly cleaned carpet, I reflected on the empty apartment.  A little over three years ago, I had stood here as the apartment complex manager showed it to me.  I had been in a daze then, numbly going through the motions in preparation for a major change in my life’s direction in so many ways.  Over the last 38 months,  I’ve climbed the 3 stories of stairs countless times as I progressed through home and new relationship building, culminating in my new home and new marriage this month.  All the while, I was focused always on the future, never fully living in the present.   Now the future is here.   Leslie and I stood outside the open doorway for a minute, she turned and called “goodbye” into the empty apartment, the door swung closed and I locked it for the last time.  Chapter closed.   As I walked down the stairs I felt an odd twinge of sadness.  But, why?   Perhaps it’s because we live in a state of perpetual hope and renewal by nature.  We don’t reflect on the last time we will do something, good, bad or indifferent and fully grasp the significance of it.  Instead, we live our lives perpetually looking forward, with the belief that there will always be more.  More time, more tomorrows.  We take all for granted, even the mundane things.

Sometimes, pausing as a chapter closes and a new one begins, we can remember to savor our time, and to live with purpose.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Garry permalink
    November 1, 2006 1:50 pm

    Mark,
    Well stated!

  2. November 2, 2006 12:10 pm

    Change – isn’t it wonderful.

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  1. Nothing too cerebral… « markitude

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