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Off to Jamaica…

October 4, 2006

 negrillogo.jpg   Tomorrow, Leslie and I will join family and friends at the airport and will embark on our trip to Jamaica for our wedding and honeymoon.   Reality of this will probably hit me at O’dark thirty tomorrow a.m. as I’m running around trying to get it together.  

 Sometime in the next 24 hours, I’m going to leave everything behind and learn to live in the moment.  As of last night, I still couldn’t let go of my current anxieties.  Leslie called, and I was supposed to be shopping for shoes to go with my tux.  What was I doing?  Tiling the mud room in our new home.   Maybe not the best choice, but I’m having trouble leaving with a clear mind as the bank inspector is coming today, and I need a score of 95% complete to get the rest of the money, and start my 30 year mortgage without more interest and penalties.  No worries.   The mud room needs the tile completed, and baseboards run, the kitchen floor needs to be done, the master bath tile finished, and the chimney needs the two stories of decorative stone applied.   Otherwise, it’s all done, less a knob or piece of trim, and touch up paint here or there.  It is what it is, but at some level I’m a control freak and just can’t stop pushing.  I live in fear of failure if I left undone something that I could / should have done.  But, I also have a soon to be wife dependant upon me to be 100% there on this trip.  This means no staring into space worrying about what is going on somewhere else.

So, is there a point to my rambling?  Here’s a piece of wisdom I think I’ve learned about personal relationships.   It is possible for each party to be working as hard as they can on what they think is important, but if what they are working on isn’t what the other party needs and values, there is a big disconnect.  The person working hard feels unappreciated, and the other party feels their needs aren’t being met.  At times, both parties may be working hard at what they believe is the right thing, but can be missing each other entirely.  We should make sure that we understand and are meeting our partner’s true needs, not just what we think they should value, or what’s important to us.  For me, while the house is important, our upcoming marriage is the bigger, and far more valuable investment.   Time to act on that.

Now where did I leave that suitcase…?

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